编者按：

　　净宗法师Facebook英文专页开通以来，广受海外莲友欢迎，其中英译小组翻译的净宗法师短文点击量最高，少则三四千，多的则高达一万以上，很多国外非佛教徒也纷纷访问留言。美国纽约Carey Harben因为侄子的事苦恼不已，遂在Facebook上留言寻求帮助，以下是留言及其回复全文。

　　I agree and appreciate your inclusion of the family and relationship also suffer as the result of a loved one’s suffering/ mental illness!

　　你们提到，亲朋好友也会因为挚爱的人受苦/罹患精神疾病而感到痛苦，对此我深有同感!

　　I am presently visiting my elders (88 and 91). I am very grateful they are still with us and I can visit and serve and enjoy them; but their grandson (my nephew; age 26) is living with them and has been for 10 years now. He has mental illness; he does very little to contribute to the family. He hasn’t a job. He lives, eats, sleeps in this household. I am pleased that he is showing growth and healing by taking care of his body through exercise, healthy eating and quitting smoking cigarettes; these are all positive steps towards mindfulness. He also practices silence most of the time, but he does not go to work and does very little to contribute to this household. He also shows disrespect at times, arrogance and a sense of entitlement, showing little respect, gratitude or appreciation for his family and elders!

　　最近我去看了家中二老(分别是88岁和91岁)。感恩的是，他们还健在，我还能侍奉孝敬他们。他们跟孙子(我26岁的侄子)共同生活了10年。不幸的是我侄子有精神病，不工作，吃住全靠我父母。他已经有了成熟和康复的迹象，懂得锻炼身体、健康饮食和戒烟，为恢复正常神智而积极努力;同时他大多数时候都练习静坐。尽管如此，他还没上班，没有为这个家做什么贡献。有时候他态度傲慢，对自己家人和长辈都不尊重，还觉得理所当然。

　　I realize I am judging; please help me. He has asked me for money, after months of ignoring my messages! I get triggered, angry, sad and frustrated, witnessing this big, strong, handsome young man living in seclusion, isolation, hiding out at his grandparents’ house and contributing nothing to his family or society!

　　我知道我这样是在评判他。可我该怎么做呢?我侄子已经连续几个月不断问我要钱。看到这样个强壮帅气的年轻人躲在祖父母的家中与世隔绝，对社会没有任何贡献，我感到很恼火、伤心、无奈!请帮帮我。

　　I am also curious and frustrated that there are not any holistic rehab community-like settings, where someone like this fellow may go to heal; to develop a practice and learn to serve; to cook, to meditate, to help and to cohabitate with others his own age … and people from diverse backgrounds!

　　我感到失望和好奇的还有，现在还没有整体康复社区供我侄子这样的人疗养、学习服务他人、学习烹饪、冥想、帮助同龄人和来自不同背景的人并与之共同生活。

　　If you know of any places like what I am describing, I would like to know more about them and if not then perhaps it is time to come together to create one together!

　　如果您知道有我描述的这种康复社区，请告诉我;如果没有，那么是时候大家齐心协力创建一个这样的场所!

　　————————

　　亲爱的凯丽·哈本：

　　您好!我们是管理净宗法师 Facebook 的编辑团队。净宗法师向您和您的家人致以亲切的问候,并让我来执笔回复您。

　　Dear Carey Harben,

　　We are the editorial team for Master Jingzong. He has extended warm greetings to you and your family and authorized me to type down this letter.

　　听您讲了侄子和全家的境遇后，我们都为您感到难过。同时，也很感恩您能如此信任我们。人们都因为不同的缘由而不同程度地承受着各种可见或不可见的痛苦，因为没有完美的人，也没有完美的人生。这种普遍存在的不完美必然导致人类的痛苦。是否曾有一刻是你意识到我们都在承受苦难?从这个意义上讲，痛苦中的你们并不孤单。正因为如此，我们才需要信仰、宗教信仰、佛教信仰，以寻求终极救赎。

　　We feel so sorry to hear about your nephew’s sufferings. Thank you for trusting us so much that you tell us your deepest feelings. People all suffer from some kind of sorrows in their lives for one reason or another, hidden or apparent, since no one is perfect and no life is perfect either. This kind of imperfection universally exists and necessarily leads to all sorts of pain. Has it ever occurred to you that we are all pitiful? So you are not alone, in terms of being in pain. This is why we need beliefs, religious beliefs, and to be more specific, Buddhist beliefs for ultimate deliverance from suffering.

　　从您的来信中我们看到您并没有放弃帮助他、帮助全家走出苦海。您还心怀希望，而“希望”是这世上最重要、最美好的事物之一，对吗?在这希望背后，我们感受到了您对这个高大帅气的年轻人所怀有的慈悲。可能您之前已有所了解，慈悲之心是佛陀给予我们的核心、根本的大爱。

　　Your message shows that you haven’t given up and still hope to help him as well as your family. Hope is one of the most important and beautiful things in the world, isn’t it? And behind your hope, we see your compassion for this big, strong, handsome young man. As you may already know, compassion is one of the core and fundamental teachings of the Buddha.

　　至于合适的康复中心，恐怕我们目前无法具体告诉您哪里能找得到，也无力即刻建立。不过感恩您让我们开始思考将来可以怎样提供帮助。

　　As to recommending a holistic rehab community, we are afraid that we are unable to tell you exactly where you can find one or to create one right away to help people like your nephew. Thanks to your question, we are inspired to think about how we could be of help in the future.

　　我们的建议是——念佛，而且是全家都念，包括您的侄子。六字佛号的具体发音是“南ná无mó阿ā弥mí陀tuó佛fó”，意思是归命于阿弥陀佛。对于这种“治疗方式”，不论国界，不论时代，都有不计其数的人求助于斯，仰赖于斯，获益于斯。

　　What we would suggest is that you and your whole family, your nephew included, recite the name of Amitabha Buddha. The pronunciation is “Namo Ami-tuo-fo” or “Namo Amitabha Buddha,” which you can search and learn online. It means to take refuge in Amitabha Buddha. This is an inconceivable “cure” which innumerable people, across borders and times, have turned to, relied on and benefited from.

　　如果把念一声佛比作一粒胶囊或一粒药片，那么该怎么服用呢?有没有使用说明?有的。简单说来就是尽可能地利用一切时间——默念或出声皆可，独自或一起皆可。当你睁开眼，迎接新的一天;当你熄了灯准备入眠;当你坐着、走着、跑着;当你做饭、开车;当你开心或不开心;当你充满希望或心生绝望……一开始，可以随身携带念珠或计数器，提醒自己念佛。连续播放佛号的机器也会很有用。渐渐地，就会习惯于有佛号相伴左右，使念佛成为像呼吸一样必要且自然的事情。哦，对了，有个念佛小贴士，是原则，也是捷径，那就是越多越好——全家都念要比您孤军奋战效果加倍，念得多、念得诚更是效果加倍。

　　If recitation is like a capsule or a pill, how should I take it? Any directions for use? Yes. Simply recite the name any time possible quietly or out loud, alone or collectively. When you open your eyes to embrace a new day; when you turn off the lamp for a good sleep; when you are sitting, walking or running; when you are cooking or driving; happy or sad, in hope or despair. At the beginning, a string of beads or an electronic counter might help remind you to keep reciting. A music player reciting non-stop would also be useful. Gradually get used to the company of the recitation all the time and make it as essential and natural as the breathing process. Oh, there is a tip, a principle and a shortcut also. The more, the better. If more people recite instead of you doing it alone, or if you recite more times with greater sincerity, the benefits and merits will be multiplied.

　　阿弥陀佛在他的名号中赋予了他对我们的爱，这爱是慈悲，是加持，是力量，是智慧。执持名号是我们与阿弥陀佛相连结的最好方式，因为这是最简易的。所以一定要真诚、坚定、持续地念，这是至关重要的。假以时日，你父母、你侄子或你自己很可能会觉察到某种改进，从很微小的进步到很显著的改善。这世上没人能向你拍着胸脯保证他/她能够拯救你们全家，但你可以试试我的建议，等待境况得到好转，这需要信念和耐心。

　　Amitabha Buddha has already embedded his love in his name, including great compassion, support, virtues, power and wisdom. Holding to his name is the best way for us to be connected with Amitabha Buddha. Recitation is easy to practice. So it is crucial to make sure you all hold to the name sincerely, firmly and persistently. After a while, your parents, your nephew or you are likely to sense positive changes happening in one way or another, from the slightest improvement to some big advancement. No one in this world can be sure that s/he can help your family, yet you could follow my advice and wait to see the growing progress with faith and patience.

　　在为你们全家祝祷之前，我还想提示一点：您并不知道在您、您侄子、您父母之间存在怎样的前世因缘。因此，任何抱怨、指责和评头论足是没用也没有意义的。负面的思维和言行只会雪上加霜，而于事无补。你不必要有一颗平静、平和的心才去念佛，相反，是念佛会给你一颗平静、平和的心。放轻松点，有阿弥陀佛为我们承担一切。

　　Before we end this letter by praying for your family, we would like to remind you that you don’t really know what happened between you, your nephew and your parents in your previous lives. Therefore, any complaint or judgment is useless and meaningless. Negative thinking, words and behavior would only make things worse rather than better. It is not required that you recite the name with a calm and peaceful mind. Rather, you might enjoy a calm and peaceful mind as you recite the name of infinite light and infinite life. Try to take it easy, because Amitabha Buddha takes care of everything for us.

　　我们会将念佛功德回向给你、你的侄子和父母。

　　All of our recitation will be dedicated to you, your nephew and your parents.

　　南无阿弥陀佛!

　　Namo Amituofo!

　　佛宣居士

　　净土宗编辑部

　　The Pureland Buddhism Editorial Team

　　附言：

　　若要将念佛功德回向给特定的人或者事，可以在一天末了进行。或者只要在念佛的时候想到那个人、那桩事即可，无需特定回向。回向没有固定模式，敬请向阿弥陀佛直言你的心愿。他会听到，会理解，会记住的。

　　P.S. Dedication to a specific person or for a matter can be practiced at t